|
 Byron "Bam" Morris
Bam Morris Returns To Football
September 2 - Immediately following his release from the
Rockwall, Texas Penitentiary, former NFL running back Byron
"Bam" Morris announced that he had accepted the head coaching
position with the Steroid Gorillas. "Steven Peck offered
me 'dis job several years ago, but I couldn't do anything about
it 'cuz my ass was sittin' in 'dis mutha fucka. I told him
at first dat I needed time to think about da offer, but I had
plenty of that shit on my hands. After a while, I decided
to take it cuz' I sure as shit ain't welcome back in the NFL no
mo'," said Morris. Steven Peck was very happy to get his
man. He had originally made the job offer back in 1996
when Morris was arrested for the last time . "I'm excited
to hire a guy who I feel is the best man for the job. I
could have hired someone who knew something about illegal
steroids, but Bam knows more about illegal drugs than most
people, so I thought that he would fit the bill...even with his
lack of knowledge on steroid abuse. He was well worth the
wait." After Steven Peck's statement, Bam jumped in with,
"But I's told Steven dat I'm willin' to learn about illegal
steroids as well. Dis way my knowledge of drugs will be
even betta'." Morris served time in prison for possession
of marijuana and. In 1996, Police found more than six
pounds of marijuana in the trunk of his Mercedes-Benz during a
traffic stop. Authorities searching Morris' impounded car
found a small amount of cocaine as well. However, all is
well now that Morris is a free man with a new occupation...until
his dumb-ass fucks up again. |
